Time To Let Go
by Nessie Carlie Salvatore
Summary: "It wasn't supposed to be like this." Shannon's reaction to Boone's death with the other survivors. T for safety.


**I've only seen through the episode 'Do Not Harm' so I made a lot of stuff up.  
I own nothing.**

* * *

The young blond sat in the cave, starring at her brother's body, unable to move.

"Shannon?" She didn't look up when Sayid said her name. Didn't move when he laid a warm on her shoulder. She wondered if she felt as cold as Boone did.

"It's my fault." She whispered.

"No-"

"It is. I made him come to Sydney. I made him get the plane tickets home. And when we crashed, I pushed him away. I made him go with Locke. It's my fault." The tears came again and gripped Boone's hand harder.

"You weren't with them on that cliff."

"I may as well have been the one that pushed him off."

* * *

"Shannon, you need to go outside." Jack said.

"No."

"We have to bury him sometime. It's not good for you to just sit here."

"See these," she asked, pointing to a series of scars on Boone's wrist, ignoring Jack's advice. "I made him do this, too. After his first girlfriend dumped him. I told him it was because no one loved him. I told him that was why his dad left and his mom was never home...I told him no one would ever really love him."

Jack sat down beside her.

"Did he do it a lot?" Shannon shook her head.

"After I saw these I never said anything that horrible again." Jack looked at the dark circles under her red eyes and went to his medicine bag and found the tranquilizers he tried to give to Claire.

"You need some rest, Shannon. Take two of these." She looked at Boone's body.

"We won't do anything without you." Jack promised. "Please, get some rest." Shannon nodded and took the pills.

* * *

Claire sat next to her when she woke up a few hours later, Charlie stood a few feet with her baby in his arms.

"He doesn't have a name yet." She said. "I was wondering...if it was okay-"

"Don't name him Boone. He'll get teased mercilessly." Claire nodded.

"What was his middle name?" Shannon looked at her.

"Aaron."

"Aaron. Little Aaron." Charlie bounced the baby. "Do you like that?" The baby made a soft noise and Shannon really smiled.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Of course." Charlie offered the baby. "Do you want to hold him?"

"I don't know. My hands won't stop shaking..."

"Please? Come on, everyone else held him, even Sawyer. Your turn." Claire too him and gently pressed the baby into Shannon's arms. He clung to her shirt and made a soft cooing noise.

"He likes you." Claire said, before Shannon could ask.

"Really"

"Yeah." The three blonds smiled and Aaron kept making cute little baby sounds.

Shannon didn't even care when he got slobber on her clothes.

* * *

Jin walked in to get fresh water for him and Michael when Shannon was brushing Boone's hair back from his face.

He said something in Korean and she looked up.

"I'm sorry...I can't..."

"Uh..." He said it again and pointed at Boone.

"He's saying he's sorry." Sun said.

"Oh. Tell him 'thank you'." Sun looked at her husband and said something softly. He nodded, got the water and left.

"I'm sorry about your husband."

"It will be okay. How are you?"

"Sad." Sun nodded.

"I understand."

* * *

"Do you want to clean him up before we..." Kate said, knelling next to her.

"Bury him." Shannon finished. "I think we should."

"You don't have to stay. If it's too much."

"It's okay." They found rags and water and started to wash the dirt from his face and chest.

"I'm really sorry" Kate said.

"It wasn't your fault."

"They're going to find John.' Kate promised.

"And do what? Tie him to a tree? He'll escape. Kill him? Boone wouldn't want that." Kate looked at her.

"Jack said I had to wash the blood off of all of him to keep the animals away for as long as possible. If you want to go-"

"I've seen Boone naked. It won't be weird." Kate nodded and finished undressing him.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Kate nodded.

"Boone was my step-brother." Kate waited a moment.

"That's all?"

"He was in love with me...for, like, years."

"Oh." Kate said. "Well, I can't say I'd complain. He's pretty cute."

"I slept with him, the night before the crash. I gave him everything he'd been dreaming of since he was fifteen then told him to pretend it never happened. Then we crashed here and he was all I had and now..."

"And now you have all of us. We'll help you get through this."

"Thank you." Shannon whispered.

"Is there anything you want him to wear."

"Anything except that godawful shirt with the cards on it." They laughed and found the blue shirt Boone was wearing when the plane crashed and a pair of jeans. Shannon kissed his forehead before Jack, Sawyer, Hurley, and Charlie carried him away.

* * *

Shannon sat near the fresh grave, once again unmoving, listening to Kate and Sawyer argue.

"I can't say anything to her." He said, trying to be quite.

"She needs us. All of us. Just sit with her." He sighed exasperated and sunk down next to her in the grass.

"I'm, uh, sorry about...your brother." He said.

"You don't have to do this."

"Yeah, I do. I probably know more about loss than anyone here."

"Both my parents and my brother are dead."

"My dad killed my mom and himself when I six. While I was hiding under my bed."

"Okay, you win." They were quite for a while.

"You probably think he was just a rich pretty boy."

"Kinda."

"He wanted to be a boyscout but his mother told him no. Said it was too dangerous. The same with football and baseball and soccer and every other sport except tennis. He didn't even get to pick his own college choices."

"Sounds overbearing."

"She was." She whispered, looking away

"I really am sorry." Shannon nodded. "You don't need a hug or anything, do you? Cause I'm not-" Her small arms were around his waist and she crying into his shirt before he could finish.

"Never mind." He sighed and put an arm around her shaking shoulders.

* * *

Trying to get back to normal, Shannon returned to the beach and stripped down to her bikini. After an hour the panting of a dog interrupted the crashing waves.

"Hey." The little boy said, sitting next to her.

"Hey, Walt, right?"

"Yeah. You're Shannon?" She nodded.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing...since your brother died."

"I'm okay."

"You don't have to lie. My mom just died, remember?"

"I...I can't remember anything about him except him laying there." She said, honestly

"When my mom died, I felt the same way. My step-dad, Brian, made me go to therapist."

"What'd they say?" Shannon asked.

"She told me that it probably hurt to much to remember right now. That in a year or something I may remember. And I think maybe you will, too." Shannon smiled at him.

"You're too smart to be just ten."

"I've heard that before."

"Walt!" Michael called, coming down the beach.

"I wasn't supposed to leave the raft." Walt said.

"Hey, I'm sorry he-"

"He didn't bother me." Shannon said. "He's making me feel better."

"I'm sorry-"

"Everyone is." She said. "But, it's no one's fault but Locke's." Michael nodded.

"You know, I can watch him." Shannon offered. "I'm not doing anything else."

"Can I stay?" Walt asked.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Behave." Michael warned, before walking away.

"Do you really believe Mr. Locke hurt your brother?" Walt asked.

"He's the only one who knows what happened and he's not around. What am supposed to think?" Walt shrugged. Wanna hear about birds?" Shannon shrugged.

"Why not?"

* * *

"Hey." Hurley said, sitting next to her at dinner.

"Hi."

"I know you're sad, so..." He handed her a candy bar.

"Where'd you get this?"

"I've been hiding it in one of Sawyer's suitcases. It might be a little melted, but chocolate's chocolate, right?"

"Thank you." Shannon said.

"How ya doin'?"

"I'm-"

"Don't tell me you're fine, you can be honest with me."

"I'm fine-"

"No you're not. I mean, if my brother died, I wouldn't be." Shannon sighedand shook her head.

"I'm falling apart." She answered. "I didn't know how much I needed him until now."

"That's usually how it goes." Hurley nodded.

"I don't know what I'm going to do. He was the one that pushed me and now..."

"Now...you gotta move on." Hurley said. "That's all you can do."

"I'm not ready to yet." He patted her back.

"You don't have to sit here. I'll be okay." Hurley stood.

"Enjoy your chocolate." Shannon nodded and opened the wrapper.

* * *

Shannon was going to check on Boone's grave, and found Locke knelling there.

"He wouldn't be there if it wasn't for you."

"Are you sure about that?" He asked with that superior attitude Shannon hated.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Even if he wasn't with me he would've ended up in the same place." John looked at her. "We both know that."

"What were you really doing out there?"

"Hunting-"

"No. Boone wasn't stupid. If he was near a cliff, he wouldn't just go near the edge. So, either you were doing something else or he was pushed."

"Why would want to kill Boone? He was my only friend on this island." Shannon sat down next to him.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this." She whispered. "He was supposed to grow up and get married and have little Boone babies."

"I think we both know that wouldn't have happened."

"What?"

"Your step-brother had a habit of talking to himself. Mentioned you a few times." He looked at her. "And we both know that he would have been married to a girl who looked like you and acted like you, using him for his money. Or he would've been alone, waiting for you to call him to rescue you again." Tears welled up in Shannon's eyes.

"You're right."

"We all get a new life on this island, Shannon." John said, again. "Boone's led him here. It's up to where yours leads you." He stood.

"He loved you, very much."

"I know, I loved him, too." She looked at the grave. "Just not the way he wanted."

"Time to let go, Shannon. There's someone waiting for you out there." He disappeared into the jungle, leaving Shannon looked at the dirt that covered Boone's body.

"I love you, big brother." She whispered. She kissed her fingers and put them on the dirt for a second then went to find Sayid.

Time to let go.

* * *

**What did you think? Were the characters a little too OOC?  
**


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